So at work today (i work at a hospital) there was a newborn baby at the nurses station. I decided right there and then that I wanted to have a third. Not any time soon 2-3 years to be exact but I just love that feeling of being in the hospital with your new baby.
But then I got home to my two sweet, adorable children to find them grumpy, bratty, and downright annoying! I suddenly became very torn as to if I even wanted the two children I already have let alone having another new one to annoy me.
I'm having a hard time thinking that this is all I'm supposed to do with my life...being a mom. I'm starting to enjoy my independence (working, not nursing, leaving the kids with whomever whenever (not really). Do I really want to add another to the mix and start all over again?
ANd sometimes I just feel like a really bad mom. Like I don't know what i'm doing. Why is being a parent so rewarding yet so stressful?
2 comments:
i know what you mean...i was in target yesterday looking at all the little girl clothes and i wanted a baby (girl) so bad. obviously this will be a while because i need to find one of those husband dudes...but yeah sometimes im so frustrated with elisha and am like never again, but then there are those moments that are so amazing and beautiful. i love you guys.
I understand that sometimes you want to just pack your bags and leave forever, but then one of them walks up to you and kisses your cheek and whispers "I love you mommy", and those are the moments that make all the other days seem so small and forgettable. I love you guys and all moms think the same things, they don't come out with instructions, but they love so unconditionally, they are so innocent and full of life that watching and helping them become big people is so awesome just wait until Zaiah is 12 and you long for the days when she ran to you for everything. It goes by so fast, cherish it and when the days are bad, just remember that in 10 years you will only remember the sweet precious times and not the days when you come home and they are all sticky and grumpy!
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